الاعلان

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

BLONDE JOKES

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all



these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her

husband that blondes really are smart. While her

husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a

couple of rooms in the house.



The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets


down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and


smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living


room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.


He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at


the same time.






He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks


what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him


that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by


painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket


over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the


directions on the paint can and they said....


FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.




There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.







The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"






Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"






Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00






The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"






Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.





A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.






“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”






“How about 50 dollars?” said the blonde.






The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”






The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”






A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.






“You’re finished already?” he asked.






“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”






Impressed, the man reached into his wallet for the 50 dollars.






“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porsche; it’s a Ferrari!”

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