A few blonde jokes

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."


"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about how much I spent on it."


"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."


"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."


"Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?"


"Well mother, when I went to cook it, I read the directions on the back and they said, "PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE," so I had to fly Alaska."

 
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A blonde went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy asked her if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Oh, six,” she said. “I could never eat twelve pieces.”
 
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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.


He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.


Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.


Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.


The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.


The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"


 
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A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.



The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

 The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"




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A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.


She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."


She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."



The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"