GOOD, BAD AND UGLY

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.


Bad: It's triplets.


Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.






2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you.


Bad: She wants a divorce.


Ugly: She's a lawyer.






3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.


Bad: He's involved with the Woman next door.


Ugly: So are you.






4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.


Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.


Ugly: You're in them.






5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.


Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.


Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.






6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.


Bad: He's a cross-dresser.


Ugly: He looks better than you.






7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.


Bad: She keeps interrupting.


Ugly: With corrections.






8. Good: The postman's early.


Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.


Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.






9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.


Bad: It's another man.


Ugly: He's your best friend.






10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.


Bad: As a hooker.


Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.


Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.