A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen Rowland
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. Mencken
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.
Barbara Bush
I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.
Bette Davis
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
Martin Luther
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Oscar Wilde
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
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