الاعلان

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Q and A 60+








Questions And Answers From An AARP Forum


Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?


A: Try a bookstore under fiction.




Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?


A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.






Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?


A: Tell him you're pregnant.




Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly - wrinkles?


A: Take off your glasses.




Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?


A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.




Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?


A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.




Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?


A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.




Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?


A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.






Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?


A: On their foreheads.




Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?


A: "Gosh, I remember these."



Smile, You've still got your sense of humor, right?





خمسه فرفشه تانى


























DON'T YOU LOVE THESE RUSSIANS?



HE SAID: Tawfiq al-Hakim





What I was utterly convinced of, and still am, is the idea that

the only responsibility the free intellectual has is vis-a-vis

himself. He is not responsible to either a political party or a

ruler.




There is always a state of anxiety, of searching and delving

for style.





In the past, traditional art was based on making manifest

what is enduring in man, like love, jealousy, hatred, envy,

and greed... . Today art has to look again at these

unchanging qualities, because society is no longer

unchanging. It is up to art today to show us what has

become of these unchanging qualities in a world which is

moving and changing.




“Ahhh! The Sky, Heaven and Hell..Those three words were

known in the East..Once you take them out of our earthly

world, the whole world will fall apart..all the masterpieces we

have made would sound and look platitude.


I know the West now is an object of admiration for its science

and discoveries but what does it worth judging by the

greatest discoveries that were found in the east?!

Verily the West is exploring the Earth and the East is
 
exploring the Sky.

UNUSUAL PHOTOS

Airport in the Maldives is located on an artificial island in the middle of the Indian Ocean




 

Balloons in Cappadocia .



Balcony of floor 103 in Chicago .



Morning Glory – kind of clouds observed in the Gulf of Carpentaria in northern Australia



Emerald Lake in the crater of an extinct volcano. Tongariro National Park – New Zealand



Lost paradise in the Indian Ocean . Isle of Lamu.



This is a unique geological phenomenon known as Danxia landform. These phenomena can be observed in several places in China . This example is located in Zhangye, Province of Gansu . The color is the result of an accumulation for millions of years of red sandstone and other rocks.



Skyscraper-Crescent Crescent Moon Tower ( Dubai )



Gibraltar Airport is one of the most extraordinary airports around the world



Photo of storm in Montana , USA , 2010


Monday, 30 July 2012

HE SAID: صلاح جاهين

“يأسك وصبرك بين ايديك وانت حر



تيأس ما تيأس الحياة راح تمر

أنا دقت من دة ومن دة وعجبي لقيت

الصبر مر وبرضه اليأس مر



“لا تجبر الإنسان ولا تخيّره

يكفيه ما فيه من عقل بيحيّره

اللي النهارده بيطلبه ويشتهيه

هو اللي بكره ح يشتهي يغيّره





“يا باب يا مقفول ... إمتي الدخول

صبرت ياما و اللي يصبر ينول

دقيت سنين ... و الرد يرجع لي : مين ؟

لو كنت عارف مين أنا كنت أقول





“على اسم مصر التاريخ يقدر يقول ما شاء

أنا مصر عندي أحب وأجمل الأشياء

بحبها وهي مالكة الأرض شرق وغرب

وبحبها وهي مرمية جريحة حرب

بحبها بعنف وبرقة وعلى استحياء

واكرهها وألعن أبوها بعشق زي الداء

واسيبها واطفش في درب وتبقى هي ف درب

وتلتفت تلاقيني جنبها في الكرب

والنبض ينفض عروقي بألف نغمة وضرب”

اكبر وليمة فلافل في العالم بايادي لبنانية








                                                                                                                      Thanks IH

Cake Prank

الفريق سعد الدين الشاذلى من ابطالنا

ابطال منسيون


البطل ايمن حسن محمد الذي اخترق العمق الصهيوني وقتل 21 اسرائيلي واصاب 20 من قوات النخبه ومهندسي مفاعل ديمونه ردا علي تدنيس العلم المصري 1990 عندما قام جندي اسرائيلي بمسح حذائه بعلم مصر وتبول علي العلم فكان جزائه 16 رصاصة في منطقة القلب وتنفيذ تلك العمليه



فسجن 12 سنه



وبعد خروجه هو الآن يعمل سباك

CAN'T EAT


Can't eat pork,


Swine flu...




Can't eat chicken, bird flu



 
Can't eat Beef,



Mad cow.... 
 
 
 
Can't eat eggs,



Salmonella.
 
 
 


Can't eat fish,



heavy metal poisons in their waters.




 

Can't eat fruits and veggies,



insecticides and herbicides.




I believe that leaves Chocolate and ice cream!!!!!!!!







Remember - - - 'STRESSED'


spelled backwards! is


'DESSERTS'






Thanks IH

FUNNIEST TRANSLATION




Kissers


مقبلات


Upside down


مقلوبة


Hinds Husband


جوز هند


Made in husband


معمول بالجوز


Moons


قمار


Vomit office


مكتب المراجعات


I never escaped a cat


لم أهرب قط


To be kissed


يتقبل


Divorced salad


السلطة المطلقة


Danger on my mind


خطر على بالي


He does not die to me an onion


لا يمت لي بصلة


Like an elephant


كفيل


Two husbands of socks


جوزين جوارب


He is my mother


إنه أُمي


Your price on me


حقك علي


Keep it on my mathematics


خليها على حسابي


Happy wrote his book on InIn


سعيد كتب كتابه على فيفي




Constitution home parents


دستور يا أهل الدار


Evaluate my envelopes


قدر ظروفي




Cairo envelopes


ظروف قاهرة


She went on you


را حت عليك


From here to here


من هون لهون


Cover on your wide


يستر على عرضك










I push the mathematics


أنا أدفع ال حساب

GETTING OLD CAN BE FUNNY