The Wife Issue

> When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


> Lee Majors


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> After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.


> Al Gore


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> By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


> Socrates


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> Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


> Mike Tyson


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> The great question.. which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?


> George Clooney


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> I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.


> Bill Clinton


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> "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."


> George W. Bush


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> "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."


> Rudy Giuliani


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> "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."


> Michael Jordan


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> "I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!


> Donald Trump


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> Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming


> 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,


> 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.


> Shaquille O’Neal


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> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...


> Kobe Bryant


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> You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.


> David Hasselhoff


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> My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.


> Alec Baldwin


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> A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.


> Barack Obama


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> Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.


> Tommy Lee


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> A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


> Brad Pitt


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> First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"


> Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


> Jimmy Kimmel


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> “Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”


> David Letterman


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> “First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!


> Jay Leno