SUPERB RESPONSES

The first:


This policeman was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial.


The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...






Q: 'Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?'


A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'


Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'


A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'


Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'


A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'


Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'


A: 'Yes sir, we do!'


Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'


A: 'Yes sir, I do.'


Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'


A: 'Yes sir.'


Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'


A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'






The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.


The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line.
 
 
 
 

The second:



In a recent interview,


General Norman Schwarzkopf


was asked if he thought


there was room for forgiveness


toward the people who have harbored


and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated


the 9/11 attacks on America.






His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.






The General said:


“I believe that forgiving them is God's function.






OUR job is to arrange the meeting”